Silent Days, Silent Nights, and Holy Lives
a reflection from Father Benet Phillips, O.S.B. '87
In the monastery, we often get death notices from other monasteries announcing the death of one of the monks. Typically these notices highlight the significant moments in the monk’s life including entrance to the monastery, dates of professions, and ordinations. They include mention of his work assignments and other biographical information that is relevant or interesting. Over many years in the monastery, you learn to read between the lines to get a closer look into the personality of the monk recalling that God calls many “characters” to the monastic life. These, lines between the lines, give us a glimpse into the heart of the deceased monk and they help paint a fuller picture and provide deeper context to the monk’s life. Often times they are humorous, but more often than not they are poignant and quite profound. As a reader, I am often edified, and while rarely have I known the man, as we would typically understand knowing someone, I feel that I do know him.
Recently I read the death notice of a monk who died in Ireland. He was the porter of the monastery extending greetings and welcome to friends and strangers alike. He was described as “cheerful”, “warm-hearted”, “kind” and “shrewd” but the characteristic that most impressed me was the phrase “he practiced the asceticism of suspended judgment” that is he was slow to assign motives, assign subjective meaning to persons or situations, or jump to conclusions. It seems that he made room for the other just as the other was valuing presence and connection over rushed evaluation.
In the Advent and Christmas liturgies, we meet another man, Saint Joseph of whom it can be said he too practiced the “asceticism of suspended judgment.” We read in the Gospel of Matthew: “Joseph, who was betrothed to Mary, discovered that she was pregnant before they came together. Being a righteous man and not wanting to expose her to public disgrace, he decided to divorce her quietly.” This verse reflects Joseph's compassionate and just nature before an angel appeared to him in a dream, explaining that the child Mary carried was conceived by the Holy Spirit.
The encouragement to cultivate habits of silence, listening, and hospitality during Advent is not only a beautiful way to prepare for Christmas but also a timeless call to live with greater humility and grace. It aligns so well with the season's themes of anticipation and hope.
May this gentle reminder inspire us to create space in our hearts and lives for a deeper connection to others and to the divine mystery of the season. A blessed Advent and Merry Christmas to you as well!